You don’t need to know what I am doing everyday, so read this instead…..
Posted in General on 04/23/2002 04:09 pm by SeanHow To Make Women Happy…
The Point System
(advice according to women)
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It’s her pet (-10)
Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)
Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)
A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)
A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
The Big Question: She asks, “Do I look fat?”
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)
Any other response (-20
Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.” (-800)
04/24/2002 at 8:24 am
-chuckle-
04/24/2002 at 9:05 am
I think that sounds like a pretty reasonable point system. I assume that since you posted it, Sean, you’d like for me to start keeping score? I’ll be glad to.
04/24/2002 at 9:49 am
Luckick I am the perfect male and would always be scoring points, not subtracting them.
04/25/2002 at 8:27 am
Hah. You only think you’re the perfect male. While reading through there, I already saw a few points being subtracted off your tally. ;P
04/29/2002 at 1:22 pm
I contend that point system is jacked up! Case and point: A woman ask you if she looks fat, no matter what you do, you get jacked up for a minimum of 20 points.
I continue! If you do something that you "supposed" to do, take a woman to a movie, you get 2 measly little points. you develop a pot belly you get jacked up for 15. You take her to dinner on her birthday, you don’t get shit. You take her to dinner at a restaurant she doesn’t like, probably because the bitch won’t decide what she want’s to eat and you get jacked up for 2 points. There’s no way you can win, you’re always in the dog house! Man I swear! Bitches!
05/10/2002 at 11:00 am
I’m loving the pointscale, and I’m sure my friends will too!