My joke of the day for Gareth:
I have just learned that, should they ever want to meet the
conditions for joining the single European currency, citizens
of the United Kingdom can no longer use the phrase “spending
a penny.” The correct terminology would be “euronating”.
Oh wonderful circle of fried dough!
Your insides are airy and light,
Outside, golden brown to perfection.
The container wafts a warm, yeasty smell,
just like fresh-baked bread from the oven.
As you cool, your glaze hardens,
becomes a protective white shell on the outside.
Just the slightest touch will crack your shell,
leaving a small print where you were damaged.
The “Hot Fresh Now” sign is like a beacon in the night,
curing all things wrong with the world.
The warm box on my lap
giving me signs of goodness and purity in the world.
At home, I open your container and see you
perfection in the form of a round, puffy circle.
That first bite, still warm and so soft
And then, you are gone. Your golden brown skin
and glazed shell are gone from the world.
There is hope, though,
for you have 11 more siblings that must be eaten.
Thank you, oh donut for bringing goodness to the world.
Authors Note: This was written in my head late at night, so I hold no accountability for it’s sanity or lack thereof.