One For Gareth

My joke of the day for Gareth:

I have just learned that, should they ever want to meet the
conditions for joining the single European currency, citizens
of the United Kingdom can no longer use the phrase “spending
a penny.” The correct terminology would be “euronating”.

An Ode To Krispy

Oh wonderful circle of fried dough!
Your insides are airy and light,
Outside, golden brown to perfection.
The container wafts a warm, yeasty smell,
just like fresh-baked bread from the oven.
As you cool, your glaze hardens,
becomes a protective white shell on the outside.
Just the slightest touch will crack your shell,
leaving a small print where you were damaged.

The “Hot Fresh Now” sign is like a beacon in the night,
curing all things wrong with the world.
The warm box on my lap
giving me signs of goodness and purity in the world.
At home, I open your container and see you
perfection in the form of a round, puffy circle.
That first bite, still warm and so soft

And then, you are gone. Your golden brown skin
and glazed shell are gone from the world.
There is hope, though,
for you have 11 more siblings that must be eaten.
Thank you, oh donut for bringing goodness to the world.

Authors Note: This was written in my head late at night, so I hold no accountability for it’s sanity or lack thereof.

I really am alive

I would like to make a small apology to all of my friends. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around. My friends that know me as a classmate know exactly what I’ve been up to, but I know that to the rest of you, I’ve basically fallen off the side of the earth. This term has not been easy. I knew it wouldn’t be, but hoped that it wouldn’t be as bad as my advisor said it would be. Last time I don’t listen to my advisor. My teachers have made a lot of demands on my time, expecting me to be working either on homework assignments every day, or a constant onslaught of programs (every one of my classes except for History is a programming class) that are due about every 2-3 weeks.

I merely ask you to bear with me on this term. It’s not easy for me, because I truly do want to spend time with everyone socializing, but my school comes first and it always has. I’ve got three more terms after this and it will all be over. None of them are going to be easy terms. After this summer it will be straight 400 and 500 level courses for me. I tell you this, because as my friends, I want you to know what I’m up against. Please, keep me informed about what’s going on and I will do my best to participate in as much as I can. If I don’t know what’s going on, though, then I have no chance of being able to socialize with you.

For those of you who will be at the DragonCon meeting this weekend, I look forward to spending some hours with you guys. Oh, and thanks for being really wonderful friends. You’ve kept me sane through some hard times (and that especially goes for you, Sean).

Avoid Your significant other in 4 easy steps: Part Two

Ok, so I have not continued my story. Fine then. I will just have to make up for it now (if I can remember everything that went on). Ah yes, Sunday.

Sunday morning I wake up a 9 so that I can go work at CompUSA as a favor for my sales manager whom had asked me to come in early for the sales meeting. I was told that the general manager wanted more people there and that I should probably go to see what he had to say. I say sure, being the gullible human that I am. The store does not open until 12, so we spend the 2 hours talking about normal things that I hear everyday from the managers. It was quite frankly a bunch of bullshit. There was no reason for me to be there that early, and we only had 4 people scheduled for the entire day, on Sunday, the busiest day of the week *proceeds to hammer himself in the head* so I am there until 6:30 that night. I did do quite a few sales, but I was extremely tired from the night before, and not in a great mood because I had to come in so early, on a favor.

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I’ve been in meetings all morning. My brain is now officially fried and it’s not lunch yet. *repeats to self* This is not indicative of the rest of my week….