Everybody’s been sending e-mails to communicate their feelings about what happened yesterday, but I decided instead to vent my feelings and impressions of yesterday here.
I’m still trying to make sense of everything that happened. Yesterday morning, Amy called me up and the first words out of her mouth were “Holy Shit!” Normally, she’s a little more composed than that, but not yesterday morning. I usually have the TV turned on to news in the mornings as I get ready for school or work, but yesterday I was wrestling with my Visor, so I had kept the TV off. Amy told me to turn the TV on to any channel. I turned it to one of the local channels and fell silent in absolute disbelief. The World Trade Center (both towers) had been hit by planes and a third plane had crashed into the Pentago. I couldn’t believe it. Then, as I watched more, the story unfolded. Three planes had been hijacked, two from Boston, one from Dulles International. Those planes had been turned into suicidal missions.
I can’t even really tell what my first emotion was. It was either disbelief or the greatest sadness that I’ve ever felt. A piece of my innocence was lost yesterday. Part of me, up until yesterday, had firmly believed that nothing of this magnitude and horror could ever happen on American soil. I had felt safe and protected because of the country that I live in. That safety is gone, forever. It’s not something that can be given back over time. Every time I ever board a plane from now on, I will always wonder. Every time I leave my home, I will worry that perhaps yet another madman has decided to wipe out another large population of people out of spite. I can’t believe that anybody in that World Trade Center had ever done anything to the madman who organized this. Certainly not every soul that died yesterday in the collapse. How can such a horror be justified?
For the rest of the day, I had to force my concentration back to everday life. I had classes that had to be attended and notes to take in these classes. I had homework to do that was due today. My normal life couldn’t stop because the rest of America was. Instead, whenever I could, I either got online and checked what was going on, or I was in front of a TV trying to get an update on the events. For the whole day, I just tried to make sense of what had happened. I wish that I could say that I had been able to make sense, but I can’t. It’s just mind-boggling to me.
But, life moves on. Making myself go to classes yesterday most likely helped, although I was furious at my teachers at the time for making us learn when such a tragedy had occurred. It forced me to continue with my normal schedule so that I wasn’t completely blown off course. Even though people died yesterday, innocent lives were lost, does not mean that the rest of us can not move on with our lives. As horrible and insensitive as it might sound, we all have an obligation to the dead to continue with our lives and fix mistakes that caused such a possibility as this to happen. We must learn from this and move forward. Dragging our feet will not help those people. Instead, doing what we can like donating blood, or donating money, will help, but sitting and mulling over it won’t.
My prayers go out to the families who have lost in this tragedy. I hope that the people who did this are caught and punished properly without any more innocent lives lost in the course.