Casa De Morrill

I believe that one of the reasons I am here on this Earth is to speak of the dangers of the Wombat. These meticulously designed devils of dirt roam our planet in search of evil. They are evil personified. As a helpful guide I have put together a list of practices to follow for Wombat Safety.

1. Never try to buy a wombat from your local pet store, these are wild creatures and should be treated with fear and respect.

2. No matter what The Crocodile Hunter says, no Wombat “Is a beauty”.

3. There is nothing more in the world that a Wombat likes to eat than your toes dipped in barbeque sauce. Kids: never dip your parent’s toes in barbeque sauce, this will surely get you grounded and your parents will have no toes.

4. Breakdancing in front of a Wombat will provoke it to either attack or attempt to reproduce with you, depending on the sex of the Wombat.

5. Wombat crap is commonly called Scats, do not gather it as a housing material, if you do, your house will smell like Wombat Scat.

6. If you are cornered by a Wombat in the wild, immediately put on your pantyhose over your clothing, this will allow you to slip past the Wombat and run through the woods with ease. Crushed velvet tights may NOT be substituted.

7. Get some Wombat repelling cats they are natural enemies. I have some myself, and I have never been approached or attacked by a Wombat.

I hope that this guide will help you to be safe in this dangerous world.